It's time to delve once again into the 16-bit world of superhero games, as I open up this Tupperware container on a game that was another one of those weekend rentals that helped ostracize me from my peers and family, serving as a barometer for all the wrong decisions I've made with this hobby. Spider-Man & The X-Men in Arcade's Revenge preceded the very cool, yet ball-bustingly difficult, X-Men for the Mega Drive by a year, but I remember being optimistic about playing it. The X-Men were on fire in the early 90's and Spider-Man is debuting on the Super Nintendo. What could possibly go wrong!?

Well, things go immediately awry with trying to figure out what the hell is going on with the X-Men, it's a little bit of tactical misdirection nere. On the box art, Cyclops sports his 1990's attire, but in the game he's wearing his X-Force costume. Great, this game is lying to me. Even more egregious that I'm tilted over something involving SCOTT SUMMERS.

Developed by Software Creations (later known as Acclaim Studios Manchester), Arcade's Revenge was published by LJN, the walking punchline of 80's and 90's video game distribution. That always seemed like misplaced blame, since LJN merely published games, but development was generally done by teams like Atlus, Beam Software, and Rare (everyone's beloved Rare produced Beetlejuice on NES. They merely struck gold with Donkey Kong Country). And Arcade's Revenge feels like every terrible UK game Software Creations has ever made; just good enough to fool you into thinking it's playable before reality sets in and you're stuck with a plodding, overabundant task-filled collect-a-thon that falls just short of Ocean Studios levels of charming. A game like this plateaus early and just annoys for however long you continue to play it. The game begins interestingly enough with a comic book style presentation of Spidey witnessing Cyclops, Storm, Wolverine, and Gambit being apprehended by the titular villain Arcade. After finishing an introductory level as Spider-Man, you then choose between the five selectable characters who each have two stages to complete before engaging in the final conflict. Maybe it's my DC bias, but Arcade was never an interesting villain and came off to me as a goofier version of Toyman. Beyond Green Goblin and Venom, Spider-Man really drew the short end of the stick on credible adversaries. I'm still reeling from whatever Judas Traveller is supposed to be.

The graphics fall into that tier of generic-looking over saturated sprites I've noticed are sported by subaverage Super Nintendo games. Titles like Super Alfred Chicken, B.O.B., Dennis the Menace, and Lethal Weapon have this heavy bleeding affect that attempts to be expressive and bright, but looks like a child on a Hi-C charged sugar bender went to town with some acrylic paints. I find it more noticeable since some of the sprites lack inherent detail, which only further gives it a blotchy appearance.

The backgrounds stand out more than the characters due to them being so heavily outlined with thick black lines. This makes navigation a bit of a chore for some stages, especially Gambit's, which relies on moving very swiftly, yet I had to stop to make sure what I'm staring at is a platform or designs. Storm's underwater levels have so much foreground material, I can't see a damn thing. It doesn't help matters that she's vaguely the same silver color as some of the glass bacta tanks (or tesla coils, whatever they are) and the stages are filled with water, which only makes distinguishing your hurtbox that much harder because it seems like the screen has been smudged with a thin layer of Vaseline. If the idea was to give them game a more comic book-like presentation, it backfires and just comes off looking really poor. This staff would later go on to develop Spider-Man & Venom: Maximum Carnage, which is more aesthetically pleasing. At least it seemed like they learned their lesson.

When it comes to controls, the best way I can describe trying to play Arcade's Revenge is like pulling cling wrap and hoping to keep it from adhering to itself. Moments later, you have a forearm covered in plastic, a poorly wrapped half-eaten sandwich, and you're angry. For such basic functions, nothing feels like it works in this game the way you'd think it would. Spider-Man clings to walls when don't want him to (happens often), Cyclops has to press UP to get out of crouching and his optic blast seems as untrustworthy as his physical attacks. Navigating Storm is about as effective as guiding an aircraft carrier in a Kroger's parking lot. Gambit's cards are thrown in a weird arc and are awfully slow and short ranged for a projectile weapon. Only Wolverine's straightforward chop-socky is decent. 

I'll give a little bit of credit where it's due, Software Creations tried their best to add some variety by giving each set of stages their own theme and the characters make unique use of their abilities. If a little more polish were applied, dare I say, it'd be an adequate game. Because the controls are so herky-jerky, I think it actually plays worse than Uncanny X-Men on NES. At least with that one, it didn't have the heightened expectations of the Super Nintendo. When fans are looking for cutting edge superhero action on their new 16-bit hardware, there's no time to settle for less! Well, at least the music is pretty good, for the most part. Except in Wolverine's stages, there's these maniac clowns who laugh nonstop. That sound will haunt the nightmares of even the most depraved sociopaths. Some of the sound effects have an awkward "thud" to them that doesn't really put me in the mind of a heavy impactful blow. Maybe Software Creations ran short on audio files in their memory bank.

There's little upside with Spider-Man and the X-Men in Arcade's Revenge. It's a challenging game, but for all the wrong reasons. All the years I've been playing it, I find myself dying a lot, just so I can learn to navigate the ends and outs of each level with these crippling controls. This is one of the lamest Marvel video games on a console. Thanks to Mutant Apocalypse and the Sega entries, the X-Men would get significantly better treatment. Pulling hangnails back with your teeth will provide more fun than this game.