Yep, the Retro Reboot is here, I'm actually going to review a piece of software widely considered to be the worst, if not one of the worst, video games of all time. As much as I enjoy indulging in a bad video game, there's just some things even I'm not depraved enough to defend. I will say this; it still is NOT THE WORST SUPERMAN GAME EVER MADE. That goes to Superman on Game Boy.

More commonly and infamously known as Superman 64, Superman: The New Adventures was developed by French studio Titus...who also developed the agonizing, key-gathering, skin peeling Game Boy game. Based on the animated series, it borrows the look and lore from that, this was released in 1999. The story being Lex Luthor has trapped the Man of Steel's friends, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, and Professor Hamilton, in a virtual reality version of Metropolis. In order to do this, Supes must clear a variety of challenges and puzzles.

There's very little I can say about this game that hasn't already been said before, and it goes without saying the reputation that precedes it is certainly deserved. The New Adventures doesn't put you in mind of what one would expect from a Superman game, especially when it's crippled by some very malicious control accuracy. It does no favors that you're thrown immediately into puzzles with zero explanation on what's needed to meet requirements. 

Beginning with the dreaded rings, Superman has to fly through these sequences, and controlling him is certainly a challenge. This MAY be a hot take, and take it for what you will, but these ring flying segments are legitimately the best part of this game. Yeah, he may handle like a paper airplane, but the science to getting the hang of it is a breath of fresh air compared to the later missions that require hand-to-hand combat. Trying to fend off enemies while being fired at in multiple directions while attempting to pand blows or even get the camera to point in the area you want to see, I guarantee you'll be asking for more rings!!

Bosses will wail on you, and defending yourself can be an absolute chore. All the fights just turn into Rock'em Sock'em Robots. More often than not, I forgot Supes can cycle through and USE his heat vision or ice breath until an objective called for it. Z button is used to toggle flight and landing, but it's so goddamn awkward to try and make pressing it TWICE in order to walk/run a regular habit.

The visuals are pretty bad. No secret that the Nintendo 64's draw distance is awful, but Superman is one of the most egregious examples. There's a lot of graphical clipping and ill-defined character models, it can take a second for me to recognize if something is an enemy of a device I should interact with to open a door. Early on, when having to access key cards to proceed (because Supes can't punch through the digital walls, of course), it took a good solid minute that console I was supposed to use was in the first room you spawn in.

Superman has had a rough go of it when it comes to video games. With putrid animations, poor mission structure, terrible audio, god-awful hit detection, an abysmal camera, inconsistent difficulty, indecipherable skills, baffling button assignment, and some of the worst controls on the N64, Superman: The New Adventures is a video game capable of causing styes. There's significantly worse out there in the field of superhero titles, and people may hate those rings. I swear, you'll treasure them. It's playable, more playable than the Game Boy game. Where it stands among the "worst video games ever", there is considerably worse out there. I don't think it cracks the top 20 of all time. Time certainly hasn't been kind to it, but the redeeming qualities are very few.

I'll die on this hill, the rings are fun.