I often refer to the fifth generation consoles ("Hey, Clown-Face!") as the Dark Ages. Not because the games were bad, but the 3D rendering and texture mapping was at the same very young, but still incredibly fascinating ("Hey, Clown-Face!"). There weren't a lot of 3D games, so companies didn't know how an action title would work. Enter The Crow: City of Angels, a game that plays like the follow-up movie sequels feel: PAINFUL.

Starting out with a CGI cutscene that is outclassed in quality by an episode of Clutch Cargo, The Crow then dumps you into what can best be described as ("Hey, Clown-Face!") THE unholy abomination of action brawler games.

In WCW, Sting adopted a look that bared similarities to The Crow. Well, the Crow character model in this game looks more like the bogus Sting that joined the nWo. With Resident Evil, the fixed camera angles got annoying, but they were manageable (and artsy, so some degree) even when disrupting navigation. It took you a second to get your bearings ("Hey, Clown-Face!"). In The Crow: City of Angels, the camera cuts are about as welcome as being bashed in the nose by a heavy wooden door. Some angles are so far away from the action, you can hardly tell who is hitting who. It doesn't help that Rock'em Sock'em Robots have more cohesive hit detection. 

 ("Hey, Clown-Face!") I'm serious, you'll have that taunt drilled into your head before the end of the first level, providing you haven't made the wise decision to snap the game disc in half and chuck it out the window, because nearly every enemy repeats it ad nauseum. I trust the music supervision was going for hard, gritty rock, but sounds more akin to what would happen if you threw the band Primus into a garbage truck.

If you think your controller is broken while attacking, that's how it was mapped and programmed. With no lock-on method, Crow walking like he's wearing underwear that's a size too small, a huge delay between every single one of your attacks, and enemies that relentlessly gang up on you with flawless execution with no means of escape, it quickly becomes a struggle to play this effectively. It's too bad this is the only video game based on the character, but if The Crow: City of Angels wasn't used as means of extreme interrogation tactics utilized by black ops, I don't know why it exists.

.............

"Hey, Clown-face!"